Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
