Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
We got so high we made milksteak
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
