I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
