Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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