Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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