I've blown a few things in my day
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
fuck your aforementioned shoe
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
