I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
