We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
