i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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