You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
