these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
