so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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