i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
