Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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