i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize