Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
