rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
