You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
