Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
