She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
