thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
