like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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