I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
