my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
