Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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