Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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