i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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