i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
