I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
