SEEEEXXX PLEASE
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i think i have two assholes
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Randomize
