At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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