He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
