i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
