I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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