Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
