Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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