Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
