Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
