I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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