I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
