Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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