Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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