Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize