Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
