so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
