I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
