Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
