Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
