its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
