Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
