remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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